The #DeeList: Top 5 People to Call Before the Police

People always wanna call the laws first, but there are better options. Here are 5:

5. Call Tyrone

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The Queen Erykah Badu already told you, when life gets you down, and nobody cares about your problems, you better call your boy. Just find another phone to do it.

4. Call Ghostbusters

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If they came to the rescue of people fighting mucous-slinging aliens with those horrible movie effects of the 90’s, they’ll help anyone out.

3. Call Your Uncle Who Just Got out of Jail

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He turned Muslim and swears he’s living his life right this time. But the right call will make him tell Allah he was just playing, and he’ll be right back to his old ways.

2. Call That Ugly Dude Who Like You

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He’s been waiting for you to need him for something other than your car note. His cape is fresh out the cleaners and he’s ready to save you!

1. Call on Jesus

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Depending on what hood you stay in, the result will be the same; it’ll feel like they’re never coming.